Can You Be Heterosexual Without Jesus?

Is your sexuality in limbo? Do you believe the Devil and God are at war over your sexuality and therefore your soul? Can you be heterosexual without Jesus?

Many Christians believe that everyone is heterosexual by default—even though reality invalidates this assertion. They argue vociferously that if homosexuality is accepted as normal and Biblical prohibitions no longer matter, heterosexuals might develop a desire for sex only with people of the same gender and the human race will die out in a few generations. Implicitly, there are more gay people per capita in secular societies where ordained heterosexism and homophobia are not the cultural standard. The invisibility of gay people in the public sphere affirms this ridiculous hypothesis.

Shannon (a member the Love March Movement for ‘sexual purity’), during a heated exchange in the Jamaicans for Secular Humanism Facebook group, disclosed that she was once attracted to both sexes. She made this admission in a bid to argue that sexuality is not defined by sexual attraction but by sexual behavior and piety. Shannon, as a child of God striving to live up to His ideals, wanted to be attracted only to men and with His help she suppressed her attraction to women. In other words, she won the battle with the enemy.

For the record, the fact that I am gay is my strongest conviction. As a child, I never had the vocabulary to understand my sexuality in a Jamaican cultural context and I certainly never had the courage to speak openly about my reality, but my attraction to men has never felt strange or perverse. The struggle I had was to reconcile my sexuality with cultural prescriptions for appropriate, respectable sexuality—never the sexuality itself.

Defining sexuality as behavior and not as attraction only seems to be relevant in the case of gay people. For heterosexuals, sexuality is very much defined by sexual attraction for they don’t wait until their first sexual encounter to affirm their desire for the opposite sex. As far as I know, like most gays and lesbians, they are led to their first sexual experience by sexual attraction. So why do some Christians insist that gay people are heterosexual by ‘design’ and that it is by indulging our ‘sinful desires’ that we become gay?

Shannon confirmed her misunderstanding of human sexuality when she proposed the following analogy: “If I always wished to become vegetarian but never stopped eating meat, can I claim to be vegetarian? No.”

The comparison is thought-provoking, but an examination of its premises lays bare the ignorance that fuels the advocacy of the Love March Movement and other anti-gay Christian groups. Those of us who believe we are ‘vegetarians’ even though we’ve never fully committed ourselves to a new ‘diet’ are not eating ‘meat’ while we ponder the moral implications of a vegetarian ‘lifestyle’. We simply aren’t eating at all. We starve ourselves because we believe that if we should heed the call of biology we would be surrendering to ‘gluttony’.

Perhaps we should do a poll to determine whether Jamaicans who don’t attend church on a regular basis, and who aren’t particularly religious despite self-identifying as Christians, are grappling with latent sexual attraction for both sexes or for the same sex. The vast majority will say no and they wouldn’t be lying. Most people simply have a dominant sexual attraction for the opposite sex. Nevertheless, there is a vocal group of Christians who preach that it’s only by God’s grace that many of us don’t develop attraction for people of the same sex. In their minds, every gay person is ‘affected by the enemy’ and is necessarily struggling with their sexuality and many more heterosexuals are susceptible to the Devil’s machinations.

In an effort to deny the existence of gay people, Daniel Thomas and his Love March Movement are questioning and undermining the reality that heterosexuality is a stable aspect of identity for most people. Dr. Keon West, in a private correspondence, agrees that this is a persistent contradiction in some sects of Christianity: 1) everyone is born heterosexual but 2) without the protection of Jesus everyone would succumb to the temptation to be gay. Frankly, I’m starting to believe that those who advance this ridiculous argument are grappling with same-gender desire themselves and assume that everyone else is suppressing such inclinations with adherence to Christian doctrine.

Education or Sex: Should Women Have to Choose?

“School was not designed to facilitate pregnancy, nor should it be. Women know the odds are stacked against them in this situation, why allow yourselves to be put at a disadvantage? You’re at an age where your education should be your priority. Leave sex alone. Having her in class with a belly suggests it is okay to be pregnant & be a teenager. Pregnant women get sick ALL the time. It may put a strain on the nursing station, it may put added pressure on the teachers. She should stay home.

I’ve noticed we are moving to a place where morality does not matter AT ALL. That is dangerous. We have started to dismiss morality in the name of advancing this liberalized notion of how society should be. If we do not have moral barriers, pretty soon nothing will be unacceptable. We will have a society where there is no order.”

The idea that young women must choose education over sex or else live with the consequences is sexist and unjust. I wholeheartedly support Senator Kamina Johnson Smith’s motion calling for the Government to amend the Education Act to enable pregnant schoolgirls to complete their education at the secondary level.

The only way we envision women taking responsibility for their reproductive capacity is by exercising abstinence. Men have no such restriction placed on them because they were lucky enough to be made in the part of God’s image that didn’t have a uterus.

My mother dropped out of high school at the age of fourteen, pregnant with her first child. She was smart and was doing well in school. Her desire for sex had NOTHING to do with her interest in formal education. Today she is a seamstress. She loves her job and she’s great at it, but she wanted so much more for herself.

Saddled with a newborn who she had to care for, my mother did not have the time to return to school. The education system determined that she and her unborn child were to be used as scapegoats to teach ‘responsibility’ and ‘morality’ to her peers. And her community believed that ‘teaching her a lesson’ was more important than securing her right to an education.

Pregnancy is not a necessary consequence of sexual activity. Adolescents can use condoms. But we can’t make those accessible in schools because equipping students with the tools needed to preclude pregnancy would be tacit (government) endorsement of pre-marital sex. Pregnant young women could also elect to terminate their pregnancies, but abortion is illegal in Jamaica because our Christian sensibilities demand that women live as slaves to their biology.

Girls from wealthy families can pay to do abortions in Jamaica or abroad. Girls from the lower class who cannot afford to pay the exorbitant sums required by doctors breaching the abortion law are required to wallow in their shame. In other cases, some parents refuse to pay for the procedure because their daughters’ pregnancies are ostensibly a reflection of their inadequacy as role models and they vindictively believe in punishing them for bringing dishonor to the family.

A woman’s body doesn’t have to be a burden. We allow it to be so because of sexist ideologies. The notion that school isn’t designed for pregnant girls is not a rationale for expelling them. It is symptomatic of a larger problem: Jamaica’s education system is a patriarchal institution that does not make adequate accommodations for the needs of all women.

Some people argue that expelling women is in their best interest because the stigma they would face in school would be a psychological burden. However, the problem here is not with pregnancy, which is a natural phenomenon. The problem is with the stigma and discrimination that pregnant girls would face. By ‘protecting’ pregnant girls from prejudice that can be reduced through education, we are sustaining the cultural environment that pathologizes and criminalizes women’s bodies and sexualities.

It is important that we consider whether the cultural environment and the education system sufficiently equip girls with the knowledge and tools they need to responsibly regulate their reproductive capacities. Absent such efforts, it is unfair to deny women an education in the formal establishment for the sake of ‘facing the consequences of their actions’.

So many of us have mothers, sisters or friends who were stigmatized and humiliated because of teenage pregnancies. As girls, they were forced to end their schooling, and later, some went to vocational schools to become employable at the bottom of the economic ladder.

It is callous to not create facilities for adolescent mothers to (re-)integrate into the formal school system and then hold them entirely responsible for their lot in life. Those with arbitrary, absolute moral standards clearly believe that injustice is defensible if it affirms prevailing ideologies. From my secular worldview, all prejudices are contemptible. We mask our sexism in ‘concern for public morality’ but betray an insensitivity to—or rather, a disregard for—the needs of women. We can and must do better.

Manhood and Intelligence Are Like Oil and Water

The idea that there is only one way to “be a man” is limiting the potential of men in so many ways. Yesterday, a heterosexual young man lamented to me that Jamaican culture is anti-intellectual. He says he doesn’t belong here. Later on, another heterosexual man said, “It’s like an untold sin to be intelligent in Jamaica.” 

It is not a sin to be intelligent in Jamaica. It is, however, a sin to challenge the status quo with regards to entrenched prejudices.

It’s so funny (or tragic?) to see educated Jamaican heterosexual men avoid conversations about gender and sexuality. Unless, of course, they’re performing masculinity and affirming said prejudices. Even though they know better, they don’t want their masculinity questioned. 

Would you rather downplay your intelligence and your critical thinking skills than bring dishonor to your ‘manhood’?

I wish we could all think about the things we do & say to appease those who are content with the status quo. And STOP. We glorify respectability and we don’t want others to think ill of us. Even when we have the moral high ground! 

Last thing. To the people who say my sexuality brings my ‘manhood’ into question: You are idiots. Go expand your definition of ‘manhood’. I’d like to think it’s more than where I poke my dick.

Is Activism for Everyone?

While everyone’s situation and experience is different, I don’t think apathy and stoicism are ever justifiable. To suggest that oppressed people have a right to fight if they can, when they can, how they can, IF they want to, is in my opinion an endorsement of negligence and complicity. 

Activism has to be for all of us. We shouldn’t have a choice in whether to engage in vigorous campaigning to bring about political and social change with regards to acceptance of LGBT people. What that activism will look like will differ from person to person, but all of us have an obligation to be change agents. 

Most people will look at the work I do and think, “I can’t do that. Bravery, activism and undisguised interviews are not for everybody.” I don’t think that’s necessarily true. 

I did not wake up yesterday and decide that I was going to be one of the faces of LGBT Jamaica. My journey started about five years ago when I decided to love myself and abandon every notion that who I am was somehow unnatural or inferior. I then went through the very difficult process of coming out to my friends, then my family, then my social networks. 

It was a painful journey because with each step forward I had to withstand scrutiny and confrontation about who I am. It’s one thing to know who you are and another thing to explain it to someone who has already made damning assumptions about what you are. 

Many of us know that we do not have the wherewithal to stand up to an entire cultural and religious system. I surely didn’t. Instead of retreating to the margins of society where I was told I belong, I decided to educate myself. If I was to help people come to terms with my reality, a reality that is actively demonized in the society, I had to be informed. 

I have always said that we—LGBT people—have an obligation to play an active role in educating and re-socializing the Jamaicans we know and love. I believe it is a glaring mark of cowardice that we prefer to allow others—whether foreigners, heterosexual allies, or U.S. media—to fight our battles for us. 

Our stories are powerful. Our existence in a culture that makes no accommodation for who we are is a powerful statement about the immutability of non-normative gender and sexual identity. Only by telling our stories will people be convinced that we are truly human. 

The issue is not that all of us don’t have the capacity to become activists; the issue is that too few of us are willing to invest in liberating ourselves from homophobic and heterosexist ideologies. For me, this is demonstrative of internalized hatred. It is our fear of ourselves and our inability to believe that we are worthy of recognition and worthy of equality that keeps us invisible, disenfranchised and vulnerable.

We need to realize that preoccupations with fear limit us and prevent us from doing the work that we are obligated to do. We are the best people to teach others about what it means to be LGBT. So long as we wait for tolerance to spring from ignorance and hatred, we will continue to wait for an inclusive Jamaica that may never come.

On ‘Gay Scum’ and Why We Should Critique Homophobic Discourse

  1. As a resident of New Kgn, I don’t have the luxury of dumbing down the fear we all feel from the gay scum. Its that plain…
  2. I don’t like to “dress up” a concern or find fringe issues to avoid dealing with–as we say–the meat of the matter…
  3. @ImmortalCritic How offensive. What does their sexuality have to do with their behaviour? Do you refer to anyone as ‘heterosexual scum’?
  4. @Chatimout I’m only speaking from my experiences Javed, which are valid whether it pleases u or anyone else
  5. @ImmortalCritic You’re guilty of the same homophobic sensationalism plastered across the pages of the print media.
  6. @ImmortalCritic AS IF being gay somehow predisposes them to uncouth and criminal behaviour.
  7. @ImmortalCritic Instead of focusing on their social context (homeless) & their criminality, u think it necess. to describe their sexualities
  8. @ImmortalCritic You are shamelessly reinforcing a stereotype that is used to rationalize pervasive discrimination against gay people.
  9. @ImmortalCritic And you smugly tell me that your complicity in the demonization of gay men is justified because of your experiences? Sure.
  10. 30 maladjusted, psychologically unbalanced, socially vulnerable gay men are ‘wreaking havok’ in New Kingston.
  11. Every motherfucking thing they do makes news headlines. Why? Because we love to affirm the belief that all gay men are miscreants.
  12. And it’s never 30 homeless guys in New Kingston who are perpetrators of crimes, it’s “GAYS”.
  13. Vicious gays. Gay scum. Dutty batiman.
  14. Discourse matters. How we frame issues matters.
  15. The essentializing discourse that renders all gay men criminals is not accidental.
  16. It’s part of an orchestrated attempt to demonize non-heterosexual people and to affirm heteropatriarchy.
  17. The issue is not really with 30 maladjusted, psychologically unbalanced, socially vulnerable gay men. The issue is w/ gay Jamaicans period.
  18. The behavior & actions of the men in New Kingston provide cover for what is an insidious & persistent anti-gay smear campaign
  19. It is WRONG. And too many of us are shamelessly complicit in sustaining this dehumanizing discourse.
  20. And I wont sit idly by and pretend the language you use to register your hatred for these guys doesn’t betray your hatred for all of us.
  21. @Chatimout As I have noted several times in my blog, these are HOMELESS JAMAICANS. But that is not as titillating as freaky gay people.
  22. @Chatimout Of course. This small group is reinforcing the stereotype, as in @JamaicaObserver editorial cartoons! #gayfreaks
  23. @Chatimout i think the difference that some gays think exists between themselves and ‘gay scum’ only exists in their minds..
  24. @Chatimout wider society will see all of us as gay scum, law abiding or not..
  25. @zClyde DUDE. Most gay Jamaicans despise these men more than heterosexuals despise them.
  26. @zClyde “They make “us” look bad.” “They make everyone think we are all like that.”
  27. @zClyde Instead of getting off their asses and telling their stories so as to diversify the narratives told about our lives, they judge.
  28. @zClyde How the fuck else are we supposed to dismantle the stereotypes?
  29. @zClyde So-called “upstanding” gays don’t think homophobic discourse implicates them. They are delusional.
  30. @zClyde They don’t critique media discourse, because supposedly the treatment of these homeless guys in the press is warranted.
  31. @zClyde They are blind to how this discourse reinforces the pathology of homosexuality and sustains our marginalization. Mi kyaahn bada.